What a Real Gentleman Does

Stands up regardless if there are any women sitting down as ladies. At least that is how it is according to commenter Jo, who left the following on an older post:

I love your site and you are right, but I am so sick of people in general, even women, continuously blaming women and defending/excusing men. As generalizing women has become a commonly acceptable thing, I shall also generalize men for asecond. Men and boys have such bitterness toward the female gender with little reason to be for the most part- expecting sex and such then pouting/throwing a tantrum when they dont get it. Feminism helped this happen but I myself as a female did nothing to deserve the hatred my gender gets. when will people wake up and realize feminists of then and now are not holding a gun to the head of every American man and forcing them to succumb to their demands? Nope, men are not perfect either, nor are they helpless. Men need to stand up and be gentlemen regardless if there are any women sitting down as ladies- in fact, that is exactly what a real gentlemen does. some women who are like this do indeed need to quit it, but many of us are not like that and we deserve respect and sympathy as men get too. Nothing’s stopping that but society’s pet hobby of dumping failure and blame onto women, then shouting self righteously when women do exactly that to men.

I can’t let such a gem of modern woman logic go unnoticed. So, while I am sure Jo probably has good intentions, I have to call out her remarks on what makes a man a gentleman, which as it boils down is a man who overlooks holding women to any standards.

What Jo needs to learn and it is perhaps one of the most depressing lessons is it doesn’t matter if you personally did nothing to contribute to feminism, man’s collective lost faith in the goodness of women is just too strong and it doesn’t matter how special or how “not like that” you think you are.  To gain a husband these days a woman has to prove she is an asset and not a liability. She has to have a value far above rubies, not a value of cubic zirconia; which is shiny and alluring on the outside but at its core is fake.

Also, remember it was women who first turned their back on men. Deeming the protection of patriarchy to be oppressive and insisting that they, as women, can not only make their own way, but make it better. Men in their chivalry granted women the right  privilege to vote and from there the demands never ended.  Those were the real gentlemen (by Jo’s definition), who gave women the distinguished privilege to vote despite women acting like crazed animals in their protests. Men stepped up and yielded, while women made fools of themselves. An important lesson was learned here for the sisterhood–create a scene, be provocative and get what you want (think slutwalks-they wanted attention and they got it). Men have thus learned if you give a woman an inch, they take a mile. And women are free to take a mile all they want these days, just not at the expense of men or via tax dollars paid by men.

To be able to honestly say you are “not like that”, you have to take some serious steps in speaking against the sisterhood and Team Women and stomping on feminism everywhere you see it, no matter how many friends or personal gains you lose. If you are truly anti-feminism, most people aren’t going to like you and in this age when likeability is valued more than standing values, most will fail at fighting feminism. I am by no means a perfect example and have commented before that I believe all women “are like that” (myself included) because being “like that” is only one lapse of judgment away. We are all capable of sin and hence all sinners. Women are all capable of being “like that” and hence they are all “like that”.  To not be aware and constantly grounded in this ugly truth, is to open the door for unhealthy airs about yourself.

I will also reiterate that this blog is not about equality. My focus is not to write 10 posts about women and then 10 posts about men. The focus is about unmasking feminism and not surprisingly it is usually the women that are predominantly behind feminism. I do hold that men and women are both equal sinners and both fall woefully short of God’s glory. However, this postmodern fallen world, does not see it that way. In much of modern Christianity and secularism, the woman gets a pass. Especially as it relates to her behavior and morals. As Jo said, it doesn’t matter if women are ladies, men are suppose to be gentlemen-regardless. This very broad philosophy leaves an open door to what women can get away with it. “It doesn’t matter if women sleep around, a true gentleman should still step up and marry her.”  “It doesn’t matter if I submit to my husband as he is suppose to be a gentleman”.

anyway, I hope you dont think I’m a feminazi myself- I’m very much against that! I was so pleased to find your blog and was so encouraged by it (I’m 21, a Christian, and possibly a future homemaker BTW). however, I’d just enjoy seeing more posts about men- they also need to know what to do because, again, men arent perfect and they sure arent the only victims here.

I suppose she wants to see more posts about how men should bow before women, regardless of women’s behavior.  Not going to happen. Are women still ladies regardless if men have no morals, make bad choices, live a wild life? No, in fact, in the name of equality and in doing everything men do they too have loosened their morals and embrace the permissive modern life. Rather than be the better example, women devalued themselves to the worst of men.

Not sure why Jo felt the need to tell me she is a Christian with homemaker inclinations.  It is almost as if that is to make me gloss over her crazy statement about gentlemen.  You know, throw in those parts so I automatically assume she can’t possibly be “like that” for she is a good Christian girl.

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31 responses to “What a Real Gentleman Does

  1. I think an important thing to highlight is that people who are interested in changing the world can only do so by changing themselves, so being preoccupied with what men and even other women do is pointless.

  2. It’s interesting you mentioned Hitler in your last post. Under Hitler, were all Germans nazis? Of course not. But he was still elected and the nation still implicitly supported him. So this call for men to be gentlemen no matter what feels like the complaint of a German citizen around 1942. Why can’t the Jews and the Slavs just step up and not be germanophobic? After all, they are a good German, they didn’t vote for Hitler, they even shopped at this store owned by a Polish Jew.

    Well, that may well be true, and history has shown us that after the war ended, the rest of the world stopped blaming Germans pretty quickly, especially the younger generations that had nothing to do with it. But that happened after the war ended, after the camps were closed and millions of people stopped fearing for their lives.

    This comparison may be a bit extreme, but as a man, I won’t stop being suspicious of women’s intentions and critical of their behavior until “the war ends”. As you said, reaping benefits from an unjust system while keeping quiet is a form of guilt. And simultaneously complaining about the harmed party being bitter makes you insensitive.

  3. solid biblical, christian advice that should be heeded by younger AND older females

    “christian” women, especially, cling to “chivalry” as a powertool, and are greatly suppported and defended by weak men, who pretend strength, often in authority positions in their, ah, churches

    “To be able to honestly say you are “not like that”, you have to take some serious steps in speaking against the sisterhood and Team Women and stomping on feminism everywhere you see it, no matter how many friends or personal gains you lose.”

    yep it is all or nothing, b/c compromises always lead to futher compromises, and soon we’re all back at Feminine Imperative ground zero

    Jesus went on (and on) about the costs of following him and his Father, and vigorously opposing female supremacism will get you hated but quick, including by family and (former!) friends

    :O)

    the way is narrow etc

    “stomping on feminism everywhere you see it” written by a Christian woman gives me goosle bumps, has a fine ringing sound

  4. “I think an important thing to highlight is that people who are interested in changing the world can only do so by changing themselves, so being preoccupied with what men and even other women do is pointless.”

    the siteowner doesnt much resemble herself ten years ago, she did change herself, its not easy, why havent you?

    you can find no error in this work, bc there is no error, it’s even presented in humility, and a tone of repentence

    and so obliquely, and passive-agressively, you seek to undermine this woman’s passion against evil and iniquity

    are you gonna tell me next that she’s a Misogynist? ;O)

    her offering brings joy to God and lightens Christ’s heart, but you judge it “pointless”

  5. I can honestly say that when I think of women in general terms, nothing good comes to mind about them. Not one thing.

  6. When you generalize about women, do you mean all women?

    80-year old women who are confined to wheelchairs?
    42-year old moms volunteering at elementary schools?
    29 year old women disabled from breast cancer?
    66 year old restaurant chefs?
    55 year old air force mechanics?
    25 year old new mothers?
    43 year old oncology nurses?

    These are all women I have known. They are all different.

    One thing about this blog is the way you generalize about all women. They come in many different shapes and sizes, and not all of them have as much interest in Armani bags or hot guys as you might think.

  7. Nah, ray, I think this blog is fine if it points out to other people how to change themselves for the better. I’m here reading it after all. My comment was solely directed at the other person, who if you’ll notice just wants to pile on men rather than give them genuinely useful advice.

  8. Feminist Hater

    Love the take down. Just a niggle from a Grammar Nazi here. It’s a ‘scene’ not a ‘seen’

  9. Further thoughts: what are the intentions of the person whom this post is replying to? My best guess as to the underlying thought process is something like this:

    “Yo yo yo, I see you giving no blame to men, but I’m a good woman. Where are the kind words for me (my kind)?”

    This person is just fishing for validation, even if it’s dressed up in a suggestion to “address what men could do differently”. But if this person is such a good woman, why does she need this sort of external validation? Why isn’t being a good woman enough for her? Instead she complains about men because she’s insecure about herself, what she is doing with herself, what she is. And she writes notes like these as the manifestation of her state of mind. Someone who wants others’ flaws rather than her own to be pointed out has to instead look within for the source of trouble.

  10. Jo:

    “I am so sick of people in general, even women, continuously blaming women and defending/excusing men. As generalizing women has become a commonly acceptable thing, I shall also generalize men for asecond. Men and boys have such bitterness toward the female gender with little reason to be for the most part- expecting sex and such then pouting/throwing a tantrum when they dont get it.”

    Women and girls have such bitterness toward the male gender with little reason to be for the most part – expecting investment in the form of money and time, and commitment in the form of exclusivity and then pouting and throwing tantrums when they don’t get it.

    Expecting hot alpha men to commit to them after a night or three of sex; and then standing around blinkered, honestly unable to understand why it is Alpha McGorgeous won’t drop to one knee and pledge his undying love to a slut.

    Expecting beta providers to materalize out of thin air, court her, spend money on her, and offer a ring and a date, just when she turns 29, and just in time for her to alight from the carousel.

    “Feminism helped this happen but I myself as a female did nothing to deserve the hatred my gender gets. when will people wake up and realize feminists of then and now are not holding a gun to the head of every American man and forcing them to succumb to their demands? Nope, men are not perfect either, nor are they helpless.”

    You benefit from feminism at the expense of men. When will you wake up and realize no one is holding a gun to your head and force you to accept those benefits — affirmative action, preferential treatment in education and employment; instant credibility in the event of a “date rape” situation; ability to divorce for unhaaaaaaappiness and win cash and prizes? Women aren’t perfect either, nor are they helpless. It’s never been a better time to be a woman – options galore. You can get married or not; work or not, have sex in or out of marriage, have children in or out of marriage.

  11. Nah, ray, I think this blog is fine if it points out to other people how to change themselves for the better.

    ok

    i’m still a bit confused but whataever, somewhere i got it mixed around, anyway cheers

  12. I can honestly say that when I think of women in general terms, nothing good comes to mind about them. Not one thing.

    certainly could be a tester, esp for guys under 50

    but i’ve seen females before the full flight of feminism, in the fifties — you gotta go back quite a ways to find largely untainted females tho

    both my grannies were outstanding women, strong in feminine ways — and in different ways both outstanding in service to God — even by male standards

    all the hours i spent around them i NEVER witnessed a hint of rebellion or disobedience — just loyalty, service, appreciation to husbands and other males

    if they disagreed, and sometimes they did w good reason, theyd express their opinion or objection later, in private, after which the matter was OVER (no more discussion or nagging with their men, who led)

    when satan’s influences are absent, as pre-fall garden, or mitigated, as in say nineteen fourties/fifties u.s., many femlaes will gladly submit to God and men, and dont seek to overthrow either

    but the u.s of course is a stronghold of … well not God

    human females were created good, and pronounced good by God, and nothing in the bible says God “took back” the woman’s original state, nor would he knowing it’ll be restored by Jesus

    so despite current conditions, the seed of goodness remains (somewehere! lol) in certain females (the ones Christ will want for his kingdom, some already selected)

  13. Bicycles do not defer to fish.

  14. Sounds like someone got their feelings so bent out of shape from one harmless line they had to make a post about it where like minded woman blamers could agree with her. Correct me if I’m wrong- I thought the commenter meant gentlemen act like gentlemen because that’s what gentlemen do, regardless of their circumstances (much like Christians in general, yeah?) not promoting feminism while bashing it or….whatever it is you seem to think it meant. Im not sure I get it.
    Guess they were right in at least one sense, people will never stop blaming women and defending men. Some of you people are prime example of this. Men are obsessed with blaming women as you say women are with men- whats worse, women love blaming women too. Why don’t we all act like adults and admit our faults?

    on another note, is this not a Christian site after all? I thought Christians were supposed to be loving? It sounds like the passive aggressive blogger got hit home and didn’t like hearing an something different. Why would a woman be so keen on blaming all this on women? It sounds like men do no wrong, I seem to recall a lot of oppression on their part even as we speak.

    Can’t rightly imagine God thinks very highly of some of this woman bashing (and that is exactly what some of you are doing, OP included). Not much different from what many “feminists” do, either. Oh but it’s lovely when OP does it. She alone is the only woman sans blame because she is quick to assure men feminism and its causes are not their fault, but evil wimmunz. Ta.

  15. Sounds like someone got their feelings so bent out of shape from one harmless line they had to make a post about it where like minded woman blamers could agree with her. Correct me if I’m wrong- I thought the commenter meant gentlemen act like gentlemen because that’s what gentlemen do, regardless of their circumstances (much like Christians in general, yeah?) not promoting feminism while bashing it or….whatever it is you seem to think it meant. Im not sure I get it.
    Guess they were right in at least one sense, people will never stop blaming women and defending men. Some of you people are prime example of this. Men are obsessed with blaming women as you say women are with men- whats worse, women love blaming women too. Why don’t we all act like adults and admit our faults?

    on another note, is this not a Christian site after all? I thought Christians were supposed to be loving? It sounds like the passive aggressive blogger got hit home and didn’t like hearing an something different. Why would a woman be so keen on blaming all this on women? It sounds like men do no wrong, I seem to recall a lot of oppression on their part even as we speak.

    Can’t rightly imagine God thinks very highly of some of this woman bashing (and that is exactly what some of you are doing, OP included). Not much different from what many “feminists” do, either. Oh but it’s lovely when OP does it. She alone is the only woman sans blame because she is quick to assure men feminism and its causes are not their fault, but evil wimmunz. But I don’t “blame” you entirely, OP; some of the “men” here need to quit hiding behind their mum’s skirts and pointing the finger crying “FEMINISM MADE ME DO IT!” What a great way to correct society, by resenting and generalizing someone but yourself. Rather like what American minorities (and the feminists who coddle them) are famous for doing.

    Interesting discussion but I wish it were a little less biased.

  16. There are fewer/no ‘gentlemen’ now simply because of the fact that there are fewer/no ‘ladies’ now.
    There are LOTS of women, but there are few/no ‘ladies’.

    Having been born with a vagina does NOT make you a ‘lady’.

  17. Bleh. This is unbiblical. Eve convinced Adam to sin in the garden… yet God still held Adam accountable. Your overcompensating. One extreme to another.

  18. You should write a blog on how to not listen and twist everyones words so to make them a superfeminist.

  19. Unbiblical in the way that your applying these truths. I really want to like what you say… because alot of it is true… but then you make it seem like this is ALL womans fault. Or like our sin is greater than mans sin. In the garden of Eden… God went to Adam first. He was the responsible one. Men today are EQUALLY responsible for this whole feminist thing. Granted- because you are a woman and not a man… you aren’t called to tell men how to be men and I don’t expect you to address men…but in addressing women and encouraging women to be.. well..women.. it’s not okay to make it seem like they are to blame with all the things wrong in the world. Sin is the real problem.
    By overcompensating, it makes you look like a “reversed- feminist.” Feminist are quick to blame all men for whats wrong… they accuse everyone of patriarchy- even when there is no intentional patriarchy happening. They hold women in such a powerful and high position- higher than men. They don’t listen…. they hear what they want to hear and it’s normally something “anti-woman.” Sorry, but all of that.. sounds like what you are trying to say in your blog except reversed. Men are perfect and women are scum. I don’t know this girl Jo, maybe you know more about her… but from what is written in this article.. it seemed like she was sincere in the way that she was coming across… and you put her on BLAST rather then simply saying “hey.. I let men deal with men.” What is this all leading to? is it leading to Christ and the cross? Because if it’s not.. then all of this unmasking is useless. A woman can be completely traditional and believe all of these things that you are saying in your blog and apply it rightly in her life… but in the end, if she is without Christ…she has nothing. I’ll take 1 feminist who truly loves the Lord and is still learning over 1,000 Non feminist women who are supposedly “getting it right” who don’t love the Lord.

  20. Anonymous age 70

    We are blaming women because at this time in our history, they are in charge of the political system. In fact, the entire system. Anyone who tells women to sit down and shut up is destroyed on the spot. Why should we not blame women for what they do with their political power?

    They also control the purse strings in this country.

  21. Modern day Carry Nations.

  22. “…but I myself as a female did nothing to deserve the hatred my gender gets.”
    If it doesn’t apply to you personally, then don’t take it personally.

    @JTK
    “One thing about this blog is the way you generalize about all women.”

    This statement makes no sense. Look up the word “generalization” or the phrase “in general.” Then go look up the word “all.”

  23. “however, I’d just enjoy seeing more posts about men- they also need to know what to do because, again, men arent perfect and they sure arent the only victims here.”

    Uh…. Check the front page for the yahoo news site on any given day. We are told how everything we do or believe is wrong,from a womanly perspective, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. and everywhere in our society.

    When President Obama laid the societal ill of fatherlessness solely at the feet of men ON FATHER’S DAY NO LESS (!),did you protest? Did you complain? I didn’t see your critique reflected in the popular culture. What I DID SEE was everyone take up the refrain telling me what a piece of crap I am because feminists have set up a system where women can divorce me for no reason and RIP MY CHILDREN FROM MY LIFE with no reason or justification.

    Let’s just lay all our cards on the table: Your contention is that even when the topic of discussion is how WOMEN contribute to our problems, MEN must also be blamed for being the victims of a system, a Ponzi scheme, set up by feminist WOMEN? Do you have a similar requirement for women discussing “deadbeat dads” and so forth? Do they need to drag out the specter of abortion in every article about fatherlessness to show how women are also failing children?

    I don’t even like these people and even I think that is a rather onerous requirement on them.

    Your criticism probably stems from the fact that you are so steeped in a man-bashing/woman-extolling culture that even the slightest dissension appears to be degradation of women to you. What LGR has said,even in her most uncharitable moments,pales in comparison to the equivalent of “Are women necessary? No, no they are not.” a sentiment voiced about OUR sex by yours that we are forced not only to bear but to at least pretend to celebrate it.That is the ultimate form of oppression. Even Orwell thought so.

    “Feminism helped this happen but I myself as a female did nothing to deserve the hatred my gender gets. when will people wake up and realize feminists of then and now are not holding a gun to the head of every American man and forcing them to succumb to their demands?”

    What is a class action lawsuit but holding a gun to someone’s head and forcing them to succumb to your demands? Do agents of the state have guns? Yes. Are they authorized to hold them to the heads (and fire them,if they decide) of those who do not comply with the law? Yes. Do lawsuits tend to shape social and business practices by force of their punitive nature? Yes. These facts are not even mildly disputable. But when you watch hundreds of women assuming control of the business practices of a large corporation,such as Wal Mart for example, and dictating their treatment of female employees,threatening them with legal action if these demands are not met,you see men freely making the choice to institute feminist demands?

    Now,when discrimination is actually being practiced, I see no problem with legal actions of this nature,but to pretend that things like threats of sexual harassment lawsuits,false rape accusations, and all of the other myriad legal mechanisms women take advantage of in order to get their way in any dispute are not a gun put to the heads of all men is willful ignorance.

    You may not like the way LGR writes about women,but if we have to put up with the way YOU write about men and dictate ridiculous things to them that you have no right to ASK,let alone expect,of anyone, you should put up with what she writes with an equal amount of grace. You have been treated with a delicacy and a fairness you don’t extend to us. You weren’t called a pig, a rapist, a child molester, abuser or pervert by any member of the MRM or the manosphere in general.

    As has been said here, YOU were the ones who got all this started.It will stop when you realize that you already receive a measure of assumption of inherent value not allotted to men,and be satisfied with good enough. If you continue to demand,or even ask, for consideration we don’t afford to ourselves and each other, and you don’t afford to your chosen enemies (us) which YOU chose to pre-emptively attack without cause,you will receive nothing at all. You will wind up being treated WORSE than men treat each other or are treated by others. I suppose it’ll fill your tantrum tank and provide endless hours of juicy drama,though, so there might be a silver lining there for ya.

  24. Nergal,
    Thanks for the well said and truthful comment.

  25. “Nergal,
    Thanks for the well said and truthful comment.”

    Don’t mention it.

    Seriously. Don’t mention it. To anybody.

    If feminists find out I’m a nice guy I could wind up in prison for having consensual sex or dead in a gutter for being “creepy”. You just keep on keeping on,sister,that’s thanks enough for me.

  26. I’ll be respectful and “gentlemanly” to everyone, man, woman, child… whatever. I’m not going to lower my behavior to match theirs, because I *NEVER* want to stoop to their behavior. Ever.

    But if someone is being unreasonable or a tart, then I will not tolerate them. I’m not (yet) forced to put up with people outside of co-workers, and fortunately my work has done a good job of hiring good people so this isn’t an issue. I will be polite, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be nice. That sounds like a contradiction, but it really isn’t. I also don’t consider saying “No” when someone wants/asks for something to be rude, though…

  27. Pingback: On Man’s Role and Man’s Duty: a counterpoint guest post by Mr. Jesse Powell. | Sunshine Mary

  28. Pingback: Matt Forney on Red Pill Women | Unmasking Feminism

  29. wow, some MRAs are a little mad, aren’t they? You guys and feminists are two sides of the same stupid coin. The commenter said nothing “feminist”, I saw quite a lot of the opposite. You simply are an insecure female who cannot handle being called out on your crap, and “men” like Nergal are a bunch of white knights eager to lick your boots. You guys worship men and look down on women as feminists worship women and look down on men. Nowhere did the comment say anything you said.
    See, this is why I can’t take either side seriously, you’re all a bunch of delusional bigots who can’t emotionally handle being disagreed with or faced with the truth.

    Nice Christian love, btw. People like you make real Christians look bad.

  30. BryAna, spot on with your comment! One person with an ounce of God’s love and basic logic applying to what they say gives me a little hope here! Spot on.

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